Monday 31 May 2010

So it was another bright sunny day in Swansea so me and my best friend decide to go into Tsco , buy some pens and food, sit on the grass and draw on each other...like you do.

Of course the pens where being right fools and running out ever two seconds! Good job i got two of them but the other onesoon ran out as well! arrgh

Note to self : Never buy inky pens agin they just run out withing seconds of buying them!

Atleastethe food was too a higher quality. Purple Grapes and Onion Bhaji wraps...Heaven.

We "googled" random picture and got cracking! Took me a while but we had the angry protesting kids running around with big sign saying "free weed" to keep us company. Not to mention the lovely view of McDonald's , Castle Gardens and of course my personally favourite the famous BT building. Plus we were constantly being eaten alive by ants crawling up my trousers and eating left over food! One ant i can handle but when he bring his friends and family it gets ridiculous!

As well as having the help of a shit Tesco's pen , Sharpies came to the rescue. Good ol' Sharpies! I always have a mental image of David Beckham and Frankie Munez when i think of Sharpies. My favourite Sharpie is the turquoise Sharpie but that's slightly off subject. I wanted to Color the eyes in black but that would have taken literally all day and probably have given my friend ink poisoning by the end of it. Some might say its worth it!
As well as me giving My friend a pen Tattoo she gave me one. And here it is. You may already know but this is a cartoon of Karl Pilkington.Not bad i must say , she has the roundness of his head spot on. Karl pilkinton always gets me pondering life's questions that i wouldent normally ponder. For example while getting dressed this morning i wondered how a tomato plant knows what shape to take when it grows. Not only a tomato plant but anything that grows. Why are fruit that shape why are we shaped the way we are. I know it has something to do with DNA and all that jazz but still why that specific shape. Anyway Yes Karl Pilkington is a strange yet brilliant man and i was happy with my pen tattoo. Not sure if id go as far as getting him permanently on my skin though.

Saturday 15 May 2010

Dracula 2 [PS1]

I was watching The Angry Nintendo Nerd and the Irate Gamer and though "hmm maybe i should review one of the shittest games i can possibly find in my room" so here it is, this is my review of the game Dracula 2 for PlayStation 1...

I can see how this game was spread out into two games. There is so much un-nessasary story line involved at the beginning. The graphics remind me of final fantasy games as they are the highest quality!But i don't understand why they are to the best quality :S I think its safe to say there's not many fan sites out there promoting this game and anyone with a decent amount of intelligence will stay away from this game at all cost and never ever make the mistake of buying it in the first place...This of course means i am an idiot.

All this amazing graphic worked must have blown the budget so shreds . Whoever made this is probably now an alcoholic and up to they're eye-balls in dept. Maybe they thought if the story line was good enough to grip me at the start i wouldn't notice the game contend...unfortunately this was not the case. In fairness it does look like it's going to be the best thing since final fantasy. All this mythical shit going on , the in depth characters , evil vampires , how realistic everything looks . You might say this game has it all. I'm afraid this is the height to the entire game, it's all down hill from here. So i press "New Game" and hope i haven't wasted my £6.50...i also hope that was the end of the story intro because it did start to drag on after a while.

Oh i spoke too soon.....more story line ...

So were introduced to nina and dr suit. Ninas been bitten by a vampire and we get a little intro of what happened in Vampire 1. This man is trying to save his girlfriend Nina from death and he wonders if it could have anything to do with some ring he picked up in the first game. I know i know this is all bollocks that makes no sense but don't shoot the messenger this is what it's telling me. Anyway eventually the story ends and the game begins.

So I'm outside a stereotypically spooky house with a very annoying howling wind sound effect. But wait a second....WHAT THE HELL! I'm not a person? There is nothing on the screen it does'nt even classify as first person. I'm this pathetic dot on the screen! Not exactly as realistic as i would have liked. Jesus Christ the camera angle isn't much better i feel like I'm looking at everything through fish eye or on google earth! It literally looks like there's a photograph in front of me instead of actual surrounding. Okay so the game has already reached rock bottom it can only get better from here. lets see how i walk. Right so i don't press forward? i press X to walk forward...but it takes me to a loading screen every time i walk forward 0_o Christ we will be here all damn day at this rate.

...a while later

So Ive managed to finally make it to the front door and in fairness the graphics could be allot worse. Considering this is a PlayStation 1 game . Right so how do i knock the door? Its going to be quite the challenge considering i don't have any hands. Lets take a look in my inventory maybe i have a key. Nope just some bullets...that's really gonna help as i have no gun and no body! Jesus Christ im stuck at the front door how in gods name do they expect me to know what i have to do. I put that dot on he door and a picture of a cog appears. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! Wait.....okay now there's a key and a gun in my inventory....that wasn't there before was it? Well that's spooky, Anyway i have the damn key now lets open the door it's freezing out here. *shitty door opening sound effect* *yet another loading screen* And we are Finaly in the house...

Hmmm well this looks just lovely. Again very typical, you can probably imagine what the inside looks like just imagine Casper's house without Casper and you have it. So lets take a look around everythings looking a bit fish eye as usual But the graphics aren't too bad. Looks like the only way to go is up the stairs so up we go. I cant image any enemies being around i mean how the hell will i attack them. This must be the most stupid way to explore a haunted house, I have to literally wait for it to load if i want to take a step forward. Who came up with this? i don't see why they couldn't have taken the time to create a character and have him walk around, They took enough bloody time with the story intro but when it comes down to the actual game nooooo they have to be as low budget as possible . I'm not even scared because if anything was going to attack me I'd probably be aware of it in advance as there would be a loading screen every time someone took a step closer to me.

Okay well Ive come across another door. God help me if this one needs a key. No i didn't need one and if found another dull empty room where i probably have to find objects.

So i seem to have found a werewolf...hes just standing there....looking at me 0_o
So what do i do out stare him? Hes not doing anything ! How do i even know hes a bad werewolf? Okay better wap out my gun. So i point the gun at the werewolf and shoot. Still nothing happens he just stands there. His life goes down but it just goes back up again ! WHAT THE HELL! Jesus Christ i give up. This is as far as i have ere managed to get in this game and as far as i ever will get. The decent thing to do would be to smash it to pieces then bury the pieces to make sure nobody will ever have to play it again...I hate this game